{ personal }

My First Craigslist's Casual Encounter

Sometimes, it's the little things that restores my faith in the world.  I posted an ad on Craigslist to give away my Ogio Vaporlite bag.  It was taking up too much space next to my Bridgestone staff bag, my Adidas Powerband stand bag and my Callaway Hyper Lite 3.0 carry bag.  So the guy shows up, I give it to him, showing him the broken back pocket.  Thought that would be the end of our "casual encounter" but then he gives me a dozen Titleist balls.  Wow, what a nice gesture.  I wasn't asking for anything in return (posted it in the free section) but as a show of appreciation he gives me a dozen brand new balls.  In today's world of quid pro quo it's so refreshing to have someone do something out of sheer appreciation.  Thanks casual encounter dude for making my day.

If Tiger Wins The Masters

I know, life is not fair.  The drunk driver always survives the crash. It's the unfortunate family driving home from church who never makes it out of intensive care.  AIG executives get bonuses while their secretaries get unemployment.  Still, in my heart of hearts I believe the man upstairs is fair, that for some things in life, he'll make sure the bad guy doesn't win.

Surely, a man who cheats on his wife with cocktail waitresses and porn stars, who treats his fans with utter contempt, who would use his late father's words to sell more golf clubs, cannot and must not be rewarded with winning The Masters at his first at bat.  There must be a period of struggle before redemption.  It just cannot and must not happen.  I mean, really, how about 6 months before he wins again.  If Tiger Woods wins this Sunday, not only is life not fair, life is unfair.

Why I Stopped Going to Bars and Clubs

A buddy was in town so we went out for some drinks at this bar/lounge/club in the Marina.  Typical scene--crowded, noisy, some hot chicks, some ugly chicks, too many dudes.  Took me probably 20-30 minutes of waiting to buy a round of drinks.  And the bartender was a bitch, telling us we needed to be more ready with our drink order.  Customer service did not apply.

Reminded me why I don't like bars and clubs anymore.  Waiting 30 minutes to put in a drink order, getting attitude from a bartender...You must kidding me.  Trite but so true: I'm too old to put up with shit.  When I was 25 I'd put up with the hassle but at 34 I want no waiting and no attitude.

Maybe I'm too demanding.  Probably stems from all my recent golfing.  A round of golf is all about being pampered so I just expect to be pampered every where now. 

• Drive up to the bag drop, someone is there ready to help you set things up.
• Cart girl comes to you, ready to serve you.   I've yet to run across a cart girl with attitude.
• At the end of the round someone is there to clean your clubs and help you back to your car.
• Caddies--just doesn't get better than having someone carrying your clubs and cleaning up after your mess.

I suppose you could get this same kind of pampering at bars and clubs but that will cost you serious cash.  I'm not talking about just table bottle service because that's barely one step up from waiting at the bar.  You'd have to close off an entire section for your group.

Then again, maybe some people don't really see it as a hassle.  They see the waiting and fighting for the bartender's attention as part of the scene/atmosphere/fun.  A less crowded bar/club without the waiting wouldn't be lively enough.  I can see this.  

2K10 Resolution #2

Stealing resolution #2 from a Friends episode.  In 2K10 I'm going to try/do something new every day.  Can be a small new thing or a big new thing, just as it's new.  For example, today, I had Quiznos but instead of getting the jalapeno chips I really like and always get, I went with the sea salt and vinegar chips.  Then for dinner I had a salad, something I never have for dinner.

2K10 Resolution #1

2010 is well underway, but better late than never.  Resolution #1: don't let things beyond my control bother me.  I have a tendency to let things, often little things, annoy the shit out of me.  Whether it's crooked politicians in D.C., know-it-all golfers at the driving range, or bums at the gas station, there's nothing I can do about it/them so why harp and soak in all that negative energy.  In 2010 my "serenity now!" will be "beyond my control!"  Whenever I start to get annoyed I just need to scream, "beyond my control!" and go find a Seinfeld rerun to watch.

College Traditions

All parents want their kids to go to college.  They stress how important a college education is to not working at McDonald's (no offense to anyone who works at McDonald's).  But that's really the wrong approach, because kids don't really think about the future.  What parents need to do is show kids the great college traditions they'll be missing out if they don't go.  Traditions like frat parties and football games. 

As someone who not only went to frat parties but was in a fraternity who threw those parties I can unequivocally say that frat parties are one of America's great traditions, right after hot dog eating contests on the 4th.  Cheap beer, underage drinking, drunks chicks--pretty hard to beat.

Football is the other great college tradition.  That's one of my greatest regrets (right after not studying harder): not being more spirited and going to games.  I actually didn't go to my first Cal game until after I graduated.  Rooting for your team, the camaraderie, those are things money just can't buy.  Even if your school hasn't returned to the Rose Bowl in three-quarters of a century, that's OK, there will always be next year. 

So, as we kick off college football season and kids are returning to school, sit down with your kid.  But instead of lecturing them on studying for the SATs, turn on ESPN and watch a game.  Point out to them the uninhibited coeds.  If that doesn't get little Johnny motivated, not sure what will.

A More Positive Attitude

During checkout at Safeway the cashier, referring to this chicken spread in my basket, asked me, "how do you eat this?"  I told him, "it's not too bad," because I understood the question to be, "this chicken spread is so gross, how do eat it?"  But he just wanted to know how I actually ate it, as in with bread, plain, in a pita.  It occurred to me on the drive home that I interpreted the question in a negative fashion, whereas he was asking a positive question.  Well, maybe not positive, more neutral. 

Then I remember on Saturday, when I met my caddie, one of the first things I told her was, "I have to warn you, I'm a bad golfer."  And while it's certainly true that I'm a bad golfer, it's really negative to start a round asserting that you're a bad golfer.  I was just setting myself up for failure.  I've watched enough "Playing Lessons with the Pros" to know that you need to be positive.

Think some of my negativism comes from my father.  He's a bit negative.  I'm not sure if he's always been negative, but I can understand how he got to be negative.  Having your entire life ripped out from under you by the Communism regime, sent to "re-education" prison, forced to start life all over in a new country, that'll make most people negative. 

For the sake of my handicap I need to force myself to have a more positive attitude.

One Lucky SOB

Every time I'm at Safeway, which is not all that often because I don't cook that much, I'm reminded of how truly lucky and fortunate I am.  I might not be driving a Bugatti Veyron like the 7th Google hire, but I make a comfortable enough living that I don't have to worry about food cost.  Go to any Safeway and you'll see families watching every penny they spend.  Parents will spend quite a bit of time considering which brand of tuna to buy, because one brand is 25 cents less expensive.  This is not speculation on my part, I can hear them discuss it. 

These conversations gently remind me that I'm lucky enough to have a good paying job which affords me the luxury of not worrying about which tuna is the the best value.  And it's not just luck having a good job, it's the fortune of loving parents who really stressed the importance of education, education which has enabled me to get a good job.  My great fortune does not stop there.  God, or who ever put us on Earth, has given me enough brain cells to do my job.  I might not be as sharp as the 7th Google guy, but, at the risk of sounding arrogant, I'm smart enough to what I do.

Sometimes living in the Bay Area, working in software and having the friends that I have, I can forget how bad this recession is.  While up in Oregon playing golf at Bandon Dunes my caddie told me that business for them is down 40 percent!  I was expecting 20, maybe 30 percent.  But 40 percent is insane, that's almost half of your business gone.  And I have no reason to doubt her, because looking around it felt really empty for peak vacation season.  That has to be brutal on the community, when business is down 40 percent.

How a quick trip to the market can really put things into perspective.

Apologies without Expectations

I remember reading a book, think it was Tuesdays with Morrie, that advocated writing letters to people as part of one's spiritual journey.  Maybe it's a simple thank you letter to someone who graciously helped you in the past.  Or maybe an apology letter to someone you've had a falling out with.  Such letters help spiritual growth through reflection and perspective. 

The interesting thing about the apology letter is the expectation.  Let's face it, often we say sorry expecting a reciprocal sorry; or we say sorry expecting a "that's OK".  But what the book advocated was saying sorry without any expectations.  I suppose it's like saying "I love you" to someone when you have no idea if they are going to say "I love you too" or "screw you, I hate your guts."  It's a very pure form of love if you do so. And I think it's this purity that the author was trying to achieve with his apologies without expectations.     

Moreover, the book advocated saying sorry even if you think you have nothing to be sorry about.  This is certainly not a fake apology.  Rather, it's the ability to see things from other people's perspectives.  For example, last week I almost ran over a bicyclist.  I still strongly feel he was in the wrong for not following the traffic laws, but following the author's advice I should apologize.  Why?  Because from his perspective I'm a 4,000 lb death machine who needs to be more responsible and alert than an ordinary cyclist.  This doesn't mean I go around saying sorry to every person and become a pushover, just that I recognize the other side of things.  The perspective the other side can bring is enormous.

I read the book a few years ago, but today something reminded me of it, so I think I'm going to give it a try this weekend.

When Par Ain't Good Enough, How Life is Like Golf

Golfers often say life is like golf.  Yesterday's incredible final round between Padraig Harrington and Tiger Woods is case in point.  Harrington started the day with a 3 stroke lead.  He played the first 9 holes the way you're suppose to--at par with no mistakes.  But sometimes, par ain't good enough.  Sometimes, error-free ain't good enough.  Tiger made up 3 strokes in 4 holes.  By the 5th hole Tiger had taken the outright lead by 1 stroke.  Harrington continued to play solid, error-free, par golf, but by the end of the front 9 found himself down 2 strokes.

Don't we all feel this way sometimes?  You do everything you're suppose to, but everything you're suppose to ain't good enough.  You go to college because it's suppose to open up opportunities, but after graduation you find yourself working at Starbucks making lattes.  You invest as advised in your 401(k), then see its value drop because of the sub-prime fiasco.  You didn't do anything wrong, but somehow you still find yourself down.

But hold on, Harrington doesn't give up.  He gets a birdie on 11th, then Tiger bogeys the 13th and 14th, and suddenly Harrington is back up by 1.  Is it not only "fair" that after playing solid golf all day Harrington "deserves" a break?

And don't we all get these breaks here and there?  Maybe we were speeding but noticed the cop just in time to slow down.  Maybe we sold our house just before the bubble.  When things are down we often get little breaks we "deserve", don't we?

Then comes the 16th hole.  Some PGA official with no common sense puts Harrington and Tiger on the clock.  Harrington rushes his shots and the rest is history.  Would Tiger still have won?  Probably, but we'll never really know, will we.  Just one little interference and everything goes south.  Just one rushed shot and Harrington goes from 1 up to 3 down.  One hasty decision sealed Harrington's lost.  He would have been better taking the 1 penalty stroke for slow play!

And doesn't this happen to us as well?  Just when things seem OK one little thing throws everything off.  One hasty decision and things are changed forever.  Didn't put on that condom in the heat of the moment?  Have a nice 18 years raising a child.  Didn't make your children wear seat belts?  Now they are dead.  Just because you were in a rush.  One little thing changes everything, and you've ran out of holes to make it up.

Next time I'll have to compare life to golf in a more positive way.  Like how it doesn't really matter if you shoot a 120, as long as you're having fun with your friends on a beautiful day.